Couples Therapy FAQs - All your questions about Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, or Relationship Therapy ANSWERED [Part 2]
As a therapist, I often hear the same concerns from couples considering therapy. Many feel nervous about what couples therapy entails, fearing they’ll be judged or feel exposed when sharing their personal relationship challenges. Others believe therapy is only for couples in crisis, thinking it’s a last-ditch effort when things have already gone wrong. Add to that the concerns about the time, effort, and cost, and it’s no wonder that many couples hesitate to take that first step.
However, despite these barriers and misconceptions, the importance of couples therapy cannot be overstated. Relationships are foundational to our happiness and well-being. They shape how we feel about ourselves, affect our mental and emotional health, and impact our overall quality of life. Therapy can help you build a deeper connection with your partner, improve communication, and resolve conflicts—ensuring your relationship is not only healthy but thriving. If you’re planning to start a family or have already, your relationship with your partner is crucial for creating a loving and secure base for your children.
Couples therapy is something that many people consider at some point in their relationship. However, it's common to have questions and concerns about how it works, what to expect, and whether it's truly the right step. In this blog, we’ll answer some of the most frequently asked questions about couples therapy to help you gain a clearer understanding and feel more confident about making that first step. My hope is that this will encourage you to consider therapy today, or perhaps to encourage a friend who may be hesitant to take that step toward a happier, healthier relationship.
Most Common Couples Counselling and Relationship Questions I Receive as a Couples Therapist
At Kaki Psychology, we understand that deciding to seek couples therapy can feel overwhelming. Many couples come to us with similar questions about what therapy entails, how it works, and if it's the right fit for them. If you're wondering whether therapy is the next step for you, here are answers to some of the most frequently asked questions from couples who want to improve their relationship.
1. What is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy, also known as relationship counselling, is a form of psychotherapy designed to help couples improve their relationship. It typically involves both partners attending sessions together with a trained therapist. The therapist helps the couple work through their challenges, whether they involve communication issues, trust concerns, past trauma, or relationship dynamics. The goal is to improve emotional connection, resolve conflicts, and build a stronger, healthier partnership.
2. What Can I Expect from Couples Therapy?
Every Couples Therapist may have different approaches and different session frequencies or durations. Generally, the therapist conducts a comprehensive assessment of the relationship history, personal history, and main conflicts or differences. During the session, both partners are encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings with the therapist’s guidance. The therapist may ask questions, explore relationship dynamics, and help the couple work through specific issues. Sessions often include exercises and techniques aimed at improving communication, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation. The therapist might also give the couple “homework” to complete between sessions to practice what they’ve learned.
3. How Do I Know if Couples Therapy is Right for Us?
Couples therapy can be helpful whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to improve your relationship. Here are some signs that therapy might be a good fit for you and your partner:
Ongoing communication issues: You find yourselves constantly misunderstanding each other or not being able to talk about difficult topics without arguments.
Struggling with conflict: If you often feel stuck or unable to resolve conflicts, therapy can help you develop healthier ways to handle disagreements.
Loss of intimacy: If you’ve noticed that you’ve drifted apart emotionally or physically, therapy can help you reconnect.
Past hurts or unresolved issues: Whether it's past relationship injuries or childhood trauma, therapy can help you heal and move forward as a couple.
Desire to grow together: If you’re both committed to growing together and building a long-lasting relationship, therapy can give you the tools to create a more fulfilling partnership.
Preparation for parenting or life events: Big life transitions can bring both excitement and stress, and navigating them together can sometimes feel overwhelming. If you and your partner are preparing for major life changes—like starting a family, undergoing IVF treatment, handling the responsibilities of new caregiving (like in-laws moving in), or managing changes in employment or finances—couples therapy can help you both communicate effectively and manage the stress that comes with these events. Therapy can help you align on expectations, learn coping strategies, and strengthen your emotional connection as you navigate these new experiences.
Complicated family dynamics: Family relationships can be a source of joy and support, but they can also be a major source of stress. If you're experiencing complicated family dynamics—such as dealing with a difficult family member, blending families, or managing estranged family relationships—therapy can help you and your partner find a way to manage these challenges together. A neutral space with a therapist can offer guidance on setting boundaries, improving communication, and finding healthy ways to navigate family-related stress without it impacting your relationship.
4. How Long Does Couples Therapy Take?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. The length of therapy depends on the nature of your relationship, the challenges you’re facing, and your commitment to the process. Some couples may need just a few sessions to address specific issues, while others may choose to continue longer to work through deeper, more complex challenges. On average, couples attend therapy for a few months, but it’s important to remember that therapy is a process. Building stronger communication and resolving deep-rooted issues often takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Regular sessions are important to maintain momentum in working on your therapy goals and typically, 3-6 months is the minimum amount of time required for meaningful and sustained change.
5. Is Couples Therapy Only for Couples in Crisis?
Absolutely not! Many people think therapy is only for couples who are in crisis, but that’s not the case. Therapy can be just as valuable for couples who want to improve their relationship before things get difficult. Couples therapy is not just about solving problems—it’s about building a strong foundation and learning how to navigate life’s inevitable challenges together.
Couples who are preparing for marriage, dealing with significant life transitions, or simply wanting to grow closer can all benefit from couples therapy. It’s about fostering healthy communication, deepening intimacy, and making sure that your relationship is always evolving in a positive direction.
6. Will Therapy Help Us Improve Communication?
Yes, communication is a key focus in couples therapy. Many couples come to therapy because they feel like they’re not being heard or understood. We’ll work together on building active listening skills, learning how to express your needs effectively, and how to respond to each other with empathy. By the end of our work together, you should feel more confident in communicating your thoughts and feelings, which will naturally lead to less conflict and more emotional connection.
7. How Can Therapy Help Us Heal from Past Hurts?
Healing from past hurts or unresolved issues is a key part of therapy for many couples. Sometimes, old wounds—whether from previous relationships, childhood experiences, or painful events in your current relationship—can resurface and affect your emotional connection. In therapy, we’ll address these wounds head-on, working through them with compassionate understanding and empathy.
As we explore these past experiences, you’ll gain insight into how they’ve shaped your behavior and emotional responses. Over time, this can lead to healing, forgiveness, and a stronger emotional bond between you and your partner.
8. Can Therapy Help with Attachment Issues?
Attachment styles are a significant factor in how we interact with our partners. If you or your partner struggle with insecure attachment—whether that’s anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment—couples therapy can help you both understand these patterns and work through them. We’ll look at your past relationships, childhood experiences, and current dynamics to uncover where these attachment styles come from.
Once you understand your attachment patterns, therapy can help you shift toward a secure attachment, where both partners feel safe, supported, and able to communicate openly. This can lead to a much more stable, loving, and healthy relationship.
9. What Should We Do Between Sessions?
Therapy doesn’t stop when you leave the session. In fact, it’s important to practice the skills you’re learning in between sessions. I’ll often give you specific homework assignments to help you implement new communication strategies, conflict resolution techniques, or ways to deepen intimacy. This helps to reinforce what we’ve discussed and keep you both actively engaged in the process.
Many couples also find that reading relationship books or listening to podcasts can support their journey. If you’re a fan of experts like Brene Brown or Esther Perel, I can offer recommendations for how to apply their concepts to your relationship.
10. How Do We Know if We’re Making Progress in Therapy? Is Couples Therapy Effective?
Progress in therapy is often gradual, but you’ll likely notice changes in how you communicate, how you handle conflict, and the quality of your emotional connection. You’ll also start to feel more confident in your ability to approach challenges together as a team. Thoughts about past relationship injuries may still arise but you feel more defused and distanced from the raw pain and intensity of emotions. Rather, you’re able to identify that this is something that has happened in the past and isn’t happening right now.
During our sessions, I’ll regularly check in with both of you to assess how things are going and adjust the plan as needed. Your feedback and commitment to the process are crucial in ensuring that therapy remains effective.
Couples therapy can be incredibly effective, but its success depends on the willingness of both partners to engage in the process. Research has shown that couples therapy can lead to improved communication, greater emotional intimacy, and a reduction in relationship distress. However, therapy is not a magic fix. Both partners must be open to change, willing to address difficult issues, and committed to working on their relationship outside of the therapy sessions.
11. What if My Partner Isn’t Interested in Therapy?
It’s common for one partner to be more interested in therapy than the other. If your partner is reluctant to join therapy, try having an open and honest conversation about your reasons for wanting to seek help. Frame it as an opportunity for both of you to improve your relationship, not as an indication that something is “wrong” with it. If your partner still isn’t interested, individual therapy may be a good option. Working on yourself can often lead to positive changes in the relationship, and sometimes a partner who initially resists therapy may become more open as they see the benefits it brings to their partner.
I talk more about this in another blog post - check it out here.
12. Is Couples Therapy for New Relationships or Long-Term ones?
Couples therapy can be just as helpful for long-term relationships or marriages as it is for newer ones. In fact, many couples find that therapy is especially useful after they’ve been together for a while, as it helps them address longstanding issues or adapt to changes in their relationship over time. We are evolving all the time, so you and your partner may not be the same as when you first started your relationship. Learning how to evolve your relationship along with you helps ensure satisfaction and met needs. Couples therapy can help improve communication, deepen intimacy, and ensure that both partners are on the same page about their values, goals, and future together.
13. Can I use Couples Therapy to Navigate Separation, Divorce, Break Up, Coparenting?
Absolutely. I discuss this in another blog post here.
Next Steps: I’m Not Ready for Couples Therapy; Do You Have Other Resources?
Of course.
Gottman Method Resources
The Gottman Institute – The official website of the Gottman Method offers a wealth of information about the research-based techniques developed by Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman. They offer tools, books, workshops, and articles for couples.
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman – A popular book by Dr. John Gottman that outlines the key principles for building and maintaining a successful relationship.
Gottman Method Blog – A blog with various tips, insights, and research-based advice to help couples build healthier relationships using the Gottman Method.
Brené Brown Resources
Brené Brown Official Website – Brené Brown’s website offers articles, resources, and information about her work on vulnerability, courage, and shame, all of which are crucial elements in relationships.
"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown – In this book, Brené Brown explores the power of embracing imperfection, an important concept for those working on their relationships.
Explore "The Gifts of Imperfection"
Brené Brown TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability – One of Brené’s most famous talks, this TED presentation explores how vulnerability can strengthen relationships and create deeper connections.
Esther Perel Resources
Esther Perel Official Website – Esther Perel’s website provides a treasure trove of articles, podcasts, and workshops that delve into modern relationships, intimacy, and sexuality.
"Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel – A thought-provoking book by Esther Perel that explores how to keep desire alive in long-term relationships and marriages.
Esther Perel Podcast: Where Should We Begin? – A fascinating podcast where Esther Perel invites listeners into real couples’ therapy sessions, offering insights into intimacy, conflict, and relationships.
Esther Perel TED Talk: Rethinking Infidelity – In this TED Talk, Esther Perel explores infidelity and its emotional complexities, offering a fresh perspective on this challenging issue in relationships. She also has another TED Talk on erotic desire in long-term relationships. Check out both below.
Next Steps: Couples Therapy at Kaki Psychology
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Start Your Journey Towards a Stronger Relationship Today
Couples therapy at Kaki Psychology is a safe, supportive space where both partners are heard and understood. You can expect a non-judgmental environment where you’ll be encouraged to express your feelings openly. During therapy, we’ll explore your relationship dynamics, identify areas of concern, and work together on improving communication, resolving conflict, and strengthening your bond.
As a relationship therapist, I bring a culturally informed, non-pathologising, relationship-focused approach. We will work collaboratively on developing practical tools and strategies that can help you navigate challenges and grow together. Therapy isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about building a stronger, more connected partnership.
If you’re ready…
to strengthen your relationship and build a deeper, more meaningful connection with your partner, couples therapy at Kaki Psychology can help. Whether you’re looking to improve communication, resolve conflicts, or heal from past wounds, I’m here to guide you through the process with empathy, understanding, and proven strategies. Don’t wait for challenges to become overwhelming—take the first step towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship today.
Contact Kaki Psychology, Prahran-based Clinical Psychology and Couples Therapy Clinic to book your session and start your journey towards a stronger, more connected partnership.
📍 Kaki Psychology, Prahran, Melbourne
✉️ Book a session today by completing the Contact Form
📞 Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call to discuss your Therapy Needs
Discover more about what to expect and the treatment approaches of Couples Therapy at Kaki Psychology.
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For more insights on building emotional skills, improving relationships, and managing life’s challenges, check out my video reels on Instagram (@kakipsychology). These bite-sized psychoeducation clips offer practical strategies to help you cultivate emotional awareness, improve communication, and navigate relationships with confidence. Follow along for more expert guidance!
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