Couples Therapy

I believe in a personalised approach to couples therapy. Relationship advice may be widely found on social media, but what works for a relationship needs to be contextualised within the dynamic between the two people. I work with you and your partner to address your unique challenges based on your specific context and history.

I use both Gottman Methods and Emotion-Focussed Therapy (EFT) for couples therapy.

The Gottman Method is a real-life couples research-driven approach that includes a comprehensive assessment of the couple’s relationship, including their life dreams, beliefs about emotions, positive regard, and perceptions about their relationship. It integrates interventions to manage conflicts and increase intimacy.

EFT for couples is based in Attachment Science and focuses on helping couples understand their attachment history to early caregivers and attachment to each other. We then use this understanding to better attune and respond to each other's underlying emotional needs and anxieties, instead of getting trapped in cycles of escalation driven by defensive reactions that hinder closeness and emotional safety. We improve the couples' ability to be emotionally accessible, responsive, and engaged.

Because no relationship exists in a vacuum, I take a culturally contextualised, narrative approach influenced by the work of Esther Perel. We’ll explore how personal histories, cultural expectations, and intergenerational patterns shape the way you relate to each other. This allows us to rewrite the stories you hold about your relationship, making space for new possibilities.

At the heart of this work is vulnerability and connection—key themes from Brené Brown’s research. I help couples develop the courage to show up fully with each other, creating a relationship where both partners feel truly known and deeply connected.

In general, I approach couples with a non-blaming stance and focus on supporting their communication with each other. My therapy focuses on your real-life issues, helping you move forward with clarity and actionable tools.

Here’s What You Can Expect in Couples Therapy with Me:

• Culturally Sensitive Therapy
  I bring a culturally informed perspective to therapy, ensuring that the nuances of family dynamics, intergenerational expectations, immigrant mentality, tension between opposing values, and cultural identity are thoughtfully integrated.

• Empathy and Understanding
  My approach is relationship-focused, empathetic, and empowering. I believe in meeting you where you are and guiding you through the process in a supportive, non-judgmental way. I believe that labels are only as helpful to the extent in which they allow for communication and moving forward. Otherwise, I avoid pathologising and encourage empathy and experiential understanding of one another.

  I’ll help you develop healthier communication habits, allowing you to talk about difficult topics without escalating conflicts. You’ll learn to listen with empathy, share openly, and understand each other’s perspectives.

  My Role: I act as an observer and a facilitator of your communication with one another. My role isn’t to judge or to be the arbitrator of right and wrong. I don’t take sides. I’m here to support your conversation with each other. I don’t believe there’s one objective right way to do a relationship. Rather, there’s what may be more helpful or unhelpful in your specific relationship, and what uniquely works for both of you. The relationship and your dynamic are the priorities.

• Tools for Long-Term Success

  I don’t offer quick fixes—I help you develop lasting skills to sustain your relationship by:

  • Addressing root issues and underlying emotional skills deficits

  • Uncovering unresolved feelings, because they don’t just disappear and will instead show up in your fights

  • Clearly identifying unhelpful patterns, including the role you both play in reinforcing your dynamic or challenges

  • Fostering goodwill, nurturing friendship, and improving intimacy

• The real fight is happening beneath the surface. Most fights aren’t what they seem to be about. The small conflicts trigger the bigger emotions and meaning, along with other unresolved feelings of resentment and mistrust, leading to the blow-ups and long conversations that leave you both feeling deflated and lost.

• Research shows that 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual, stemming from fundamental differences that resurface over time. Instead of "fixing" them, these conflicts become opportunities to understand each other’s realities and emotional needs. Couples who navigate them with humour and affection stay connected, while those who lose goodwill risk emotional disengagement.

  Not every fight has a perfect resolution. The way we start these fights, e.g., with accusation, blame, resentment, and defensiveness, is what predicts the way they go and end. My role is to help you both observe the process between you two, slow things down and help you both stay curious so that a real connection can happen.

  “Do you want to be right? OR do you want to understand?”

  By exploring how past experiences, childhood dynamics and attachment injuries shape your present, we have a better chance of healing emotional wounds and building a secure, fulfilling bond.

• Commitment to Your Growth
  I do this by providing practical steps and resources, as well as empathetically yet firmly holding you both accountable to your goals and the changes you desire. I serve as a mirror, reflecting the tango in your relationship dynamic, and how you both contribute to the shaping of this dance and how you both are required for the changes you desire in your relationship.