Many of my clients tell me, "I don’t know how to have that conversation," or "I'm just not good with confrontations." The fear of conflict can hold us back from addressing issues, leading to emotional disconnection and frustration in our relationships. But avoiding these conversations doesn’t make the problems go away—it just allows them to build up over time.

As a Melbourne clinical psychologist with a special interest area in relationship and couples counselling, I help clients develop the confidence and skills to navigate tough conversations without fear. The fear of conflict can hold us back from addressing important issues, leading to emotional disconnection and resentment over time.

The goal isn’t to eliminate conflict altogether but to navigate it in a way that strengthens, rather than weakens, your relationships.

Why We Avoid Difficult Conversations

There are common reasons why people hesitate to address issues in their relationships:

Minimising the problem – Many people worry they’re overreacting or making a fuss over something small. However, these "small" issues can accumulate and shape an overall negative narrative about the relationship, creating emotional distance.
We make monsters of each other where there are gaps in communication. When ruptures are not repaired, and confusion is not made clear… we can assume the worst in others and assume there is no hope for the relationship to evolve.
Fear of conflict – Some clients start the conversation but quickly back down when the other person reacts with frustration or disagreement. They interpret this as a sign that the conversation "isn’t working," when in reality, addressing difficult topics often brings initial discomfort.
Uncertainty about how to communicate effectively – Without the right communication skills, it’s easy to misinterpret each other, argue about details and not the main issue, become defensive, or escalate tension instead of resolving it.

How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence

✔ Acknowledge discomfort – Expect that these conversations may bring up emotions for both you and the other person. This doesn’t mean the discussion is failing—it means it’s real and important.

✔ Stay engaged, even when it gets tough – Walking away or shutting down only reinforces avoidance. Instead, take a pause if needed, but commit to working through the issue together. Persevere in your goal to understand and in making your requests. Tolerate the discomfort of the disagreement or of even seeing displeasure in the other person. Accept that these feelings are not only normal, they are temporary and will pass.

✔ Focus on long-term relationship health – The goal isn’t just to "win" the argument or avoid tension (e.g., “we’ll just get over this in time”)—it’s to strengthen understanding and connection over time.

Effective communication is at the heart of healthy relationships—whether with a partner, family member, or colleague. If you find yourself struggling to express your needs, navigate conflict, or feel truly heard, therapy can equip you with the skills to communicate with clarity and confidence. At Kaki Psychology in Prahran, Melbourne, we provide individual and couples counselling to support healthier communication and emotional resilience, develop self-awareness, emotional regulation, and meaningful connection through practical, evidence-based strategies.

📍 Kaki Psychology, Prahran, Melbourne
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For more insights on building emotional skills, improving relationships, and managing life’s challenges, check out my video reels on Instagram (@kakipsychology). These bite-sized psychoeducation clips offer practical strategies to help you cultivate emotional awareness, improve communication, and navigate relationships with confidence. Follow along for more expert guidance!