Do I Really Need Therapy? Why Seeking Therapy is Important - by a Melbourne Clinical Psychologist

The reason I love my work as a clinical psychologist is simple: Therapy is the work of hope. Hope in change, hope in healing. I love seeing people realise that change is possible. That they are not broken or doomed to repeat the same patterns forever. That healing isn’t just a distant idea—it’s something that happens step by step, in a safe and supportive environment.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves (That Aren’t Always True)

Many of us grew up hearing the same messages repeated over and over, or experiencing patterns that reinforced how we were “supposed” to feel about ourselves. These messages shape not just how we see ourselves, but how we expect the world to judge us and how we respond to challenges. Maybe even how “bad” we believe we are, and how permanent that badness feels.

• “You’re lazy.”

• “You’re difficult to live with.”

• “You’re too sensitive.”

• “You’re not smart enough.”

• “You’re not wanted.”

• “You always give up.”

The list goes on.

When we hear these messages often enough, they stop feeling like opinions and start feeling like facts. We fuse with them. They become the lens through which we see ourselves, the silent background noise that influences every thought and decision. And when these beliefs have shaped us for so long, it can feel impossible to imagine a different reality.

"Do I Really Need Therapy?"

Many people feel ambivalent about seeking therapy. They wonder if their struggles are "bad enough" or if they should just "tough it out." You might have even told yourself:

• Other people have it worse than me—do I deserve therapy?

• I should be able to figure this out on my own.

• What if therapy doesn’t work for me?

• I don’t want to seem weak.

• I’ve tried talking to people before, and it didn’t help. There isn’t much of a point sitting around talking, I don’t need therapy”.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to hit rock bottom to benefit from support, and going to therapy doesn’t mean you’re incapable of managing life on your own.

Imagine you're hiking up a steep mountain. You could do it without proper hiking boots—walking barefoot or in flimsy shoes. You might still reach the top, but the journey would be harder, slower, and more painful.

Therapy is like having the right gear. It doesn’t do the climb for you, but it supports you, protects you from unnecessary harm, and makes the journey more manageable. Why endure unnecessary pain when a better option exists? Therapy works the same way—it’s not about whether you could tough it out, but about whether you should when there’s a guided and accompanied path to healing and growth available.

Or, imagine trying to learn a new language just by guessing words and hoping for the best. You could eventually pick some things up through trial and error, but it would take much longer, be frustrating, and you might develop bad habits along the way.

Therapy is like having a skilled language teacher. It doesn’t do the learning for you, but it gives you structure, guidance, and tools to understand and express yourself more effectively. Why struggle unnecessarily when you have access to something that can help you grow with more clarity and confidence?

Therapy isn’t just for crises. It’s a space for self-understanding, personal growth, and making meaningful changes. It’s not about proving you “can’t do life” alone—it’s about learning to thrive instead of just survive. Therapy helps you develop insights you might not have reached on your own. It changes your relationship with yourself, your emotions, your needs, and others.

Therapy is not about labelling you or "fixing" you. It’s about giving you the space to:

• Unlearn the messages that have held you back

• Understand yourself on a deeper level

• Build confidence in your ability to navigate life’s challenges

Most of us don’t get to choose the families we’re born into or the circumstances of our early lives. But now, as an adult, you have a choice. You have the opportunity to experience something different—a corrective experience that can reshape the way you see yourself and the world. Therapy isn’t about weakness; it’s about reclaiming your strength.

P/S: If you feel like sessions with your psychologists have mainly only been talking and you don’t feel better equipped with insights or skills, then provide feedback to your therapist if you feel able to do so. Otherwise, you might consider trying another psychologist.

"What If Talking About It Makes Things Worse?"

A common fear about therapy is that bringing up painful memories or emotions will make them worse. But avoiding difficult feelings doesn’t make them disappear—it often allows them to quietly shape our behaviours, relationships, and self-esteem in ways we don’t even realise.

Therapy offers a safe space to process your experiences at a pace that feels manageable. It doesn’t mean diving headfirst into overwhelming emotions; it means gradually untangling them, understanding them, and learning new ways to cope.

This is one of my favourite quotes and I think it is so relevant here.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

―C.G. Jung

"Why Would Therapy Work When Nothing Else Has? Why Would Therapy Work When I Have Heard It All Before?"

You might be thinking: I’ve heard all this before. People have told me to be kinder to myself. I’ve read books on mental health. I’ve had friends or family tell me I need to change my perspective.

So why would therapy be different?

Because a message is just words—what makes the difference is how it’s said, in what context, and in what emotional state you’re in when you receive it.

I can’t tell you the number of times my clients have said they’ve read something in a book or heard it from a friend or partner, but it wasn’t until they heard it in therapy that it really clicked.

Listening is a skill.

Communicating in a way that meets your need to feel seen, heard, understood, and comforted is a skill. And it’s not a skill that comes just from completing clinical training as a psychologist (though that’s a long journey in itself!).

It comes from spending thousands of hours sitting with all kinds of people, with all kinds of challenges. It comes from learning, refining, listening deeply, and understanding how to attune to someone’s needs in a way that lands emotionally, not just intellectually.

We do a lot of work as clinical psychologists to be able to listen, formulate your challenges and communicate all that clearly and well with you. To take what you tell us, work with it, then present information to you in a way that fits your needs, motivations, and capacity.

This is what makes therapy different. It’s not just advice. It’s an experience—one where you feel heard in a way that shifts something inside you. One where you don’t just “know” something logically, but where it clicks emotionally.

And that can be the turning point.

Remember, therapy isn’t about just receiving advice. It’s about:

• Being truly heard and understood

• Exploring patterns you may not even realise are there

• Having a skilled professional help you connect the dots

• Developing tools that are tailored to your unique experiences, that accounts for the nuances of your circumstances and your personal areas of strengths, weaknesses, and blindspots

"I Didn’t Have Support Growing Up—Is It Too Late to Heal?"

Absolutely not. The absence of a supportive adult figure in childhood can leave us carrying unresolved emotions into adulthood, but it’s never too late to rewrite our narrative.

If you never had a supportive figure in your early years to help you make sense of your emotions and experiences, you might still carry the weight of conflicting feelings and self-doubt. But it is never too late to gain that support.

Therapy can be that safe space where you start to untangle the messages that no longer serve you. It’s where you can begin to see yourself with compassion instead of criticism. Where you can hear a different voice—one that says, You are capable of change. You are more than the labels given to you. You can heal.

Having a supportive figure now, in adulthood, can be life-changing. A therapist is not there to “fix” you, but to walk alongside you, to help you see possibilities you may not have realised on your own. To say:

“This is possible. You can make changes. This is how. Let’s take this step together.”

Having a compassionate, trained professional guide you through your experiences can be life-changing. Therapy is not about dwelling on the past—it’s about making sense of your experiences, shifting unhelpful beliefs, and building a future that aligns with who you truly are.

Taking the First Step

Deciding to start therapy can feel daunting, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you’ve been considering it, even just a little, that’s a sign that part of you is ready for change.

You are not alone in this. Let’s take this first step together.

Personal growth and healing is a lifelong journey, and small changes can lead to lasting transformation. Whether you’re looking to build self-confidence, set healthier boundaries, or explore your full potential, therapy offers a supportive environment for growth. At Kaki Psychology, I work with individuals to overcome self-doubt, perfectionism, and fear, using evidence-based techniques that empower you to take control of your life and move forward with clarity and confidence.
📍 Kaki Psychology, Prahran, Melbourne
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